During the past two weeks, there are some incidents that happened in the office. They made me realize that there are more to working life than what I could possibly imagine.

[I don't know how to elaborate without sounding overtly bitchy (opps too late for that), or that I am giving out sensitive information about my workplace (well, there's actually a HR policy about blogging about workplace issues. I know. I wrote the new version. =p), so I am not gonna elaborate on what actually happened. You just have to live with some ambiguity for this post. =p]

Maybe I was too naive. Or maybe it is because of the fact that I am still young and full of drive and energy and very willing to do almost everything. But, the things that have happened have made me realize that the working world is not as simple as I think it is.

I think I have got to re-adjust my thinking a little. Hmm.

But luckily there's always BFF at the end of the day to talk to. He always make everything so clear. Like he succinctly pointed out, "At the end of the day, humans are looking out for their own interests". Which is true, and is reflective of what actually happened. Or the fact that "When you are nice and fast and efficient, people will take advantage of you. But when you don't want to help them or do their things too slowly, people will bitch about you". Which is also true.

Sigh. But luckily, there are always good colleagues to brighten up my day, with jokes and laughter and support. I look forward to work because of these people. =D What happened today made me realize things about myself that I have been denying for quite a while.

I was too eager to please my boss, or perhaps too casual with her that I forgot about other things and the implications of my words and actions on others.

Upon deeper reflection of why I was too eager to please, I came to realize some things about myself.

1) This is naturally what I do. I seek to bring my best work forward to the things I love to do, and that I continuously aim to perfect my work so that my work shows my capabilities. I should probably learn that I can never be perfect, and it's ok to fail sometimes.

2) I may have some problems accepting the fact that people may find faults with my work or things that I have missed out, especially after I presented it to my boss. This shows that I have not done a decent job in the first place and my work is not up to my standards. Well, really. I have to learn to accept my mistakes, ackowledge them and learn from them, so that I won't make them in the future. Also, I truly learned that it's always good to have an extra pair of eyes to review my work. They might spot things that I missed out, or because of my biases, tuned out.

3) The reason why I am eager to please was because I really want to secure a perm job at my workplace. There. I said it. I want a job desperately. But this isn't the main reason why I do things. Even after getting the job, I will still put in my best in whatever I do. But yeah. For now, this remains one of the contributing reasons.

Really. There's a lot of learning points today. :) I wonder if I am taking on far too many tasks in my workplace than I can possibly handle.

I was reading the HR Metrics textbook, and I realize that my current task is not as easy as I thought it would be.

And that my next task is quite relatively an unknown area, so I would have to do a lot a lot of research to contribute good ideas. Oh no.

But, no matter what, since I volunteered to take them on, I won't back down. And I will try my best and more (OMG! Riverside's school song! My best and more... Singing too much of the school song does inculcate the schools values into me, muahahaha!) to present excellent pieces of work. =) Another reminder I should add to my growing list of reminders:

Check my handphone to see that I set my alarm before I go to sleep every time.

Cause I didn't last night, and guess what? I overslept. Until very late. Luckily FF called me lor, otherwise I can die of horrible and extreme lateness (Thanks FF! =D).

Never again I shall spend $43 coming to work in the morning. :( I shall remind myself everyday:

Stop being despo.

Stop it.