You know you are becoming a workaholic when you bring your laptop home...

Only in the second week of you starting work.

Don't talk to me,
For you're reminding me of,
 The conversations we had:
  silly ones;
   of nonsensical fun and laughter,
   of your lies and deceits,
   of being attached.
  hopeful ones;
   of our dreams and futures,
   of a better life.
  romantic ones;
   of sweet compliments and whispers,
   of flushing with joy.
  simple ones;
   of self-introduction,
   of getting to know you.
  not-so-simple ones;
   of my own lies and deceits,
   of withdrawing hard truths,
   of fear of the consequences otherwise.

Don't talk to me,
For you are reminding me of,
 The intimacies we shared:
  open ones;
   of casual hugs and arms over shoulders,
   of providing warmth against the cold bitter winds.
  intimate ones;
   of the pretense of providing warmth,
   of laying of innocent hands everywhere,
   of the secret enjoyment when skins brush,
   of wanting to stay this way forever.
  discreet ones;
   of when nobody knows,
   of what we did underneath,
   of the rush of excitement,
   of hoping for time to stay still.

Don't talk to me,
For you are reminding me that,
 After the initial happiness,
 Reality sinks in,
 And so does pain,
  At the end of this conversation.

Don't talk to me,
But I want you to.

"Love hurts, and pain brings a kind of assurance because you know it's not an illusion" - Kevin Tsai Long-time visitors to my house might recognise the following picture:



And find that something is oddly missing.

Yes, you might be right. Remember the big blue box with a splashing turtle which hated me? Yeah.

I woke up to this scene today morning. I couldn't help but notice as this was in my direct line of sight everytime I needed to go to the kitchen from my bedroom.

Alarm bells started ringing in my head. "OMG where is the turtle? Did Father forget to put it back after cleaning it?" I then went into the kitchen to find this sitting by the window:



Without a turtle in sight.... OMG! A frantic dash to the phone and a call to Father later, came the reply:

Dad: "Die already!"
Me: "Aren't turtles supposed to live VERY long lives? How you know die already?"
Dad: "Never move already, means die already lor. How I know why die?"

Oh. My. Goodness. I really though turtles are supposed to live quite long lives leh. Maybe he (or she, I never really did find out) got tired of being in captivity for 14 years already. Maybe it got tired of constantly trying to escape the big blue box (it wasn't a big blue box originally. We had to "upgrade" as the turtle grew bigger. Such a nice life right? Very few in Singapore can experience constant housing upgrades leh! =p) and decide to give up and go to turtle heaven (where it can finally mate? =p).

Or as my parents believe, the death of the turtle signifies that the turtle managed to avert a disaster on the household by sacrificing its life to block the calamity from striking our family. (If that is really true, then our turtle is a brave martyr!)

Whatever the reason of its death, I kinda miss it. I admit, I was pretty horrendous to it when I was young. I kept torturing the poor thing by poking it or putting it on its shell when we were both young, and the turtle was afraid of me ever since (I swear, everytime I came close, it will withdraw into its shell. But not for my other family members... Ha. That goes to show how intuitive some animals can be). But, the turtle was a constant sight every morning. And now... a sense of familiarity is gone. Can't help but feel a tinge of sadness. =(

May you rest in peace. Enjoy yourself whereever you are! =D

Update: Apparently, the turtle died of hunger because it was blind and couldn't see where the food was. My mom said that the turtle's eyelids were closed for quite a while, and that it couldn't see the food, and thus, haven't ate for days. And Father buried it in the grass patch down the block. At least it had a decent burial. I thought they would just chuck it into the rubbish chute. =/ Right. So my first day of work was very eye-opening.

My colleague told me, "It's a steep learning curve being in this team". It is. After the first day, I got so many things on my agenda. Seriously, the workload I got = the workload for like half a semester in university. Damn a lot.

Is it sad that I am thinking of starting work on one of my assignment on a PH? Ha. I think I am gonna become a workaholic. And soon, I will like, "What life? You mean life in the HR office? Yeah, plenty!" =p

No la. Probably I am exaggerating. A bit. But this is really mine and my colleagues' typical workload (or maybe even more). It's really how I manage my tasks and get used to doing all these. It seems very overwhelming at first, but I am confident I will be able to grasp all of these in time. =D

Gambatte and fighting to me! =D In 12 hours' time, I will embark on the next stage of my life: work.

My friends have asked me how I felt about this, and I have told them that I am excited, and yet, nervous.

I am excited because I know what I will be doing, in general. I am excited because I am back to familiar grounds, and I can get back to seeing friendly faces. At least I know what to expect.

At the same time, I am nervous as well. I mean, I don't know what exactly I will be doing, or how I will get along with my team-mates (all of whom are new faces to me), or really, whether I will be able to do my job well.

HaHa. This sentiments somewhat mirrors what I felt before my internship period last year. Looks like habits die hard eh?

But yeah. I mean, I am stepping onto the next stage of my life. There's this sense of anticipation and nerves and oh-my-god-this-is-really-happening-to-me-oh-shit. So yeah.

Here's to a great start towards a fulfilling career. =D Yo yo!!

Okay, unlike my previous vacation, I will not be doing huge long posts detailing how each day went. I don't have time to write blogs everyday during my trip, and when I am back, my memory is kinda fuzzy.

So what I did was to upload all my photos to Facebook, and as much as possible, I tried to write captions underneath each photo. After all, what's the point of looking at photos of monuments without knowing what it is right? =p

Anyway, in short: I had lots of great fun, made lots of friends (and some very memorable ones =D) and really enjoyed the trip! =D

So, here they are, the links to my albums:
Day 1: London
Days 2 & 3: Paris
Days 4 & 5: Swiss Alps
Days 6 & 7: Nice
Day 7: Monaco
Days 8, 9 & 10: Florence & Rome I just came back from watching Wicket in the Apollo Victoria Theatre in London's West End.

Wicked was damn awesome! It tells the story of the 2 witches in the Wizard of Oz (full story here). The plot was exciting and really goes beyond the stereotype of the good guy-bad guy that the novel makes out both witches to be at first. The acting was seriously great! Seriously damn good, and my £62.50 was very well spent!

My favorite character has gotta be Elphaba, the Wicked Witch of the West. I identify with her so much, especially after all the traumatic events that she went through. At the end, it feels that there really could be a "Wicked Witch" living inside me, ready to burst out.

She sang a song, "Defying Gravity". It was the climax of the show, and marks the turning point of everything in the Wicked Witch's life. After hearing that, 我真的起了鸡皮疙瘩. So, here are the lyrics to this song! Enjoy!

Defying Gravity
Something has changed within me,
Something is not the same.
I'm through with playing by the rules of someone else's game.
Too late for second-guessing,
Too late to go back to sleep.
It's time to trust my instincts,
Close my eyes and breathe.

It's time to try defying gravity,
I think I'll try defying gravity.
Kiss me goodbye, as I am defying gravity,
And you won't bring me down.

I'm through accepting limits,
Cause someone says they're so.
Something I cannot change,
But till I try I'll never know.
Too long I've been afraid of,
Losing love I guessed I lost.
Well if that's love,
It comes at much too high a cost.

It's soon I'll be defying gravity,
Kiss me goodbye as I'm defying gravity.
I think I'll try defying gravity,
And you can't bring me down. So, here I am, at a Starbucks outlet near my hostel, whiling my time away until my walking tour starts at 10am.

That's what one gets when one takes a night flight and arrives at 5-bloody-am in London.

The flight itself was great! I sat in the middle of 2 middle-aged ladies. One was silent, while I talked to the other one on my left, a Filipino grandmother visiting her son in London. It was nice being able to talk to a complete stranger in the plane.

After arriving in London Heathrow, I took an hour-long train ride to King's Cross St Pancras Station, where I met a Singaporean couple. We didn't talk much, but kept smiling at each other. Ha.

And when I stepped out of the station, OH. MY. GOD. London is bloody cold! It's like 11-degrees and the wind keeps blowing. I mean, I experienced this in Sydney before, but omg, my ears hurt and now, my left pinky hurts too! :( Bloody wind. It looks like my jacket and I are gonna be very best friends for the next 9 days (and I can keep wearing the same t-shirt for 9-days too, since nobody will be seeing it anyway =p).

So yes. Now I am here in Starbucks, enjoying cheap coffee (like seriously cheap. The venti here costs the same as tall back in Singapore. Ha. Looks like I should be spamming Starbucks as much as I can), writing this blog, wifi-less, waiting for time to go back. I hope my day in London gets better!

Au revoir! =D